I feel so lonely at times...

I really cant take this anymore...

Haz
It hurts..
It really does..='(

ok..been slacking the last few days..lying in bed as if i'm dying...but today i dun feel like slacking...dunno why...

while slacking...i was contemplating alot of other issues...life..fate...destiny...goal in life..heck..im 18 and still trying to find a goal in life...sumtimes life dun go as planned..

frequently we think of the future when we are not sure yet of the present...worse of all..humans get very ambitious in their comfort zone...that is why pressure exist in this world...to get us out of the comfort zone...and yet..too much pressure kills u too..

everything needs to be moderated in life...too much of sumting is bad...

the complications of life cycles around us...

in the end..all we have to do is plan and go with it..decide and follow through ur decision..and when the decision is made..dun u ever regret that decision..we have to be brave and in war,bravery kills...in life..bravery hurts...u see..when u are brave enuf..u get the truth..sumtimes the truth hurts and thats the reason why bravery hurts in life..but the plus point is that u might get rewarded if u are brave,u might get what u want

...remember..be brave..although it might hurt..but more probability of being rewarded..but wats the point of living if u always live in fear??

i wana be brave and let the truth hurt me..but get the reward maybe!..how bout u?

ehfool
signing out

Sitting here all by myself
Just trying to think of something to do
I'm trying to think of anything
Just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know its not working out
Cause you're all thats on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
To leave the rest of the world behind

I didnt mean for this to go
As far as it seem
I didn't mean to get so close
And share what we did
I didn't mean to fall in love
But i did
And you didn't mean to love me back
But i know u did

Sitting here trying to convince myself
That you're not the one for me
But the more I think
The less I believe
And the more I want you here with me

what do you think of the lyric?
give me your views

took some inspiration for this

ehfool
signing out

just got back from class bbq...tired...cycled here and there...but there was the time that i was able to slack...such a loveable hobby...aaaaah....so good to lie down with no worries...

but only one thought that could not get out of my head...

how is it possible for a relationship to progress if the only means of communicate is by msn?...thats bugging me...

one thought of u is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind

ehfool?
signing out

ok..been back for the past 3 days but was not connected to the net...so i bring u the news yar?

went Genting and man, the weather was cool...about 15 degrees..now imagine that as the highest temperature...

as u can see..the clouds are everywhere...and yeah, u can do a initial D corner when u drive downhill...its fun...yeah the holiday was fun but tiring...miss spore air..but i like the cool temperature at Genting...plus the clouds...

feels like resident evil as it looks eerie...thats the best part...u cant see anything more than 2 km...imaginne that!!

well...at least im back...only last friday did 2 buses lost control and crash...we were lucky....

ehpul

signing out

Juz got home from seeing her..

This time it's different..

I mean the feelings i have when i got home..i juz dunno how to describe it..it's like..erm..i wonder..Is it coz of dat day..when i miss her so much...too much actually..Coz she didnt have the time to meet me..She really2 have alot of things to do..i know it's true..i dun blame her..but missing her for days almost caused me a breakdown dat day..it was too much for me to carry..

So i juz used up my time lazing around with zal and niap at mac..and i told zal how down i was..Zal gave me a sad face..haha..sigh..

Erm..In the end,i finally did some reflection on myself,thought about it for so hard..I came up with something...causing me to change...

From dat moment on,i no longer miss her...i dun feel like i really2 wanna see her...and i started to have difficulties talking to her...And it's nothing to be proud of...

I wish i could miss her like i used to..but at second thought,i wouldnt want to..
Coz it will be hurting again when the missing gets too much..

I really wanna carry on loving her...

Haz
Help me..please...

ok..too bad there's no farewell match for me...gona be away for 4 days...well,wat can i say?

life is a little stable these few days...this holiday is the chance for me to learn more ab out the hotel industry!!! which is relevant for my course of study...

plain white t's are getting popular...can't believe something underground is getting popular..

what about the office gal?

its ok ok but stiff competition is present
so i cant confirm ya...

at least we chat till 2 am...but if there's any meaning in it...its up to her

finally!!its holiday...well..anything can happen in 3 weeks...and i dun wana spend them alone...

i nd sum gal to kill time this holiday...oops..erm i mean to cherish with...

i dun want to put too much hope..u knoe why

going out station for 4 days
hope there will be sum impact
im so cunning i know
my life is calculated
but its always wrong
no wonder i fail maths
LOL

foolrocker
signing out

Hmm..Today's a great day..i think...

Coz the one dat means everything to me,pushed me away..She didnt even think of giving me a chance..I really tried to be there as fast as i could..My cousin hoping on me,to finish my band's recording..she too hoping on me,to be there on time..But i was late for her by 30mins..

Give me a chance...

I dun want everyone to know this,but i dun think u even want to remember it...I used to wait for u,dear...it was 45mins...n i didnt even try to keep telling u dat i did dat for u..coz 45mins for u,is nothing to me..im willing to wait for u..trust me..

But i no longer need ur trust now...so,dun give me any k...

So,i got home early..N wat should i say...erm...Great?
Yea..i think so..coz i didnt have my house key with me,and to find out dat my whole family went out..My house is empty...freaking empty..Now im juz all alone...I'm at a place somewhere where i could get a wireless connection..

Hey...erm..Thanks for everything k...I love it..

Haz,
Do i really mean anything to her?
Guess not..

When i close my eyes..

All i think about is you...

I cant stop myself from dreaming all day..

And i...

I've been trying to tell u how i feel..

Trying to make u understand..

I really wanna be by ur side...

Haz
Would u try to remember our good times?
Give me a chance...
How would u feel..being alone...

Hmm...Since today is the start of my holidays,and i havent plan anything yet for the week..i started this morning by doing something which i used to do long ago..Which is...RECORDING!!...Haha...I stopped doing recordings since long ago coz i lost the recording program..But i finally found it once again..I'm overjoyed..haha..lol...like real..

Anyway..I started recording the song,which is playing automatically right now,from about 11am to 3pm...4 hours..dammit...It was difficult enough coz there's only 1 Hasan in the room and i need 2 more HasanS to play the rhythm guitar and the lead guitar..So yea..it was tiring enough..using the recording programme and do alot of recordings..sigh..But eventually,i succeeded ey..First objective done in the holidays...=)

However,could u guys give me your comments about the song i covered? Anyway..'Cover' means playing someone else's song..and not ur original..for those who dunno dat is..haha..kk..

Erm..it's dedicated for someone..=)

Haz
Maybe,i should be very happy for wat i've got..
And not aiming for more..
Coz other people do have worse luck than i do..right?
Peace..

hmm...felt better after hanging out with them...played soccer with sheer determination...and i endured my low stamina today!!! that shows that i let it all out already...

ok,im back to norm

foolrocker
singning out

its wonderful what friends of the same sex can do....in response to N post,here it is...

im better thank you

looking forward to soccer at this late hour

been excited since i got 'emo'

but not into emo

just emotionally yar

till here..

i'll be early no doubt

update later afternoon

a better man

out...ps,N its not her anymore...sum1 else

how cruel can life be???

patience is a virtue...

but what if that patience is tested time and again?

should it break?

or should it endure?

still trying hard to get hold of myself...

cant let my emotions control me..

if I do, i will lose..

the world will spin endlessly..

I need to occupy myself..

dang...

every nite I sleep early to 4get her..

but its of no use

cos the next morning I look forward to see her..

my mind is being consumed by her..

see how bad a gal can be?

tats why i wana stop tis nonsense..

each time I think of her i would shake my head

in a futile attempt to forget her..

feeling dizzy

its consuming me again

gotta get hold of myself

sweet memories are temporary
its the sour one which lingers on to us the most
even the skies cudnt be a remedy
i just dun wana it to be deadly
cos it will when i fail to control my emotions

foolrocker
signing out

hoping for a better tomorrow....

dunno why this few days been very moody during the end of the day....rite now im blasting my ears with 'time of dying' from three days grace....trying to distract myself from her....

haven't seen her for 2 days and im like tis alr....to make matters worse, her prepaid is low...man,when was the last time i msg a gal using a prepaid???

im scared btw...i get the feeling we dun share anything common...but both of us are interested in knowing each other...

i miss the way she reply my smile by smiling back...its so sweet-feeling...first place, why am i telling it publicly???

just wana blurt it out that i miss her so much and i wana know u more

my office gal...

stop it saiful, studies first...
but wait, i didnt say i wana get married...
oh ok ful...

gotta push my distractions aside
and feelings to hide
love is everlasting
is it true?my darling?

foolrocker
signing out

just got back from my scandalous date with two of my classmates...lily and dianah..we went to long john at je to have dinner...

hahaha..how contradicting life can be....first I wanted no more of girls and now here I am dating two gals at the same time...hahaha..sorry haz...

but still miss my office gal can...

oh well,what to do...im still young and getting married is the least on my list can...

just wana have fun..

but there's that 1 part which is not done yet

which is to have my very own electric and start playing in gigs and suff!!!

thats a big dream...

and its still on my list as the number 2 spot

number 1 is gals duh...

oh well,gotta go
lots of planning to do..
u only live life once
so, why not have fun?
do what u dun dare...
but ensure its legal can..

sex and stuff is bad can...

foolrocker
signing out

how many have u souls took a look at the moon lately?

its full moon and man,it looks uncompared to anything on earth..its shine is undescribeable..

i like vampiric girls..they are the hottest stuff..their teeth is sweet dude..wish a vampiric girl would suck me..that would be nice..

one example is **

get it?

wun be sleeping since its full moon...

moon gazing soon can..

somebody wake me up from this nightmare
addiction is a long sleep from reality
no one will ever change this animal i have become
its not the real me..

foolrocker
signing out