ok,tuesday was finally over..im glad it is..starting my lessons already..matter of fact,i get the feeling that my hands on lessons will be the ones that will be challenging..

wednesday is definitely my best day of the week since we have 2 hours of lunch..but..why must we finish at 5?its just so tiring..

there's a problem if u get too close to your colleagues and in the end you want to quit..i mean,its gonna affect everybody..

I feel tired to continue working..

archery?volleyball?let me draw lots...

fighting for rock revival..

foolrocker
signing out..

when will we choose our cca? I dun know dude,tomorrow maybe..I just discovered that I'm brain dead..I can't get my brains to come out with the impressive vocabulary that I once had mustered and could easily find in my brain..

with my brain dead and rusty,looks like I have to start reading and start lubricating the brain..its gona be hard work..

never have I felt so tired easily..guess I'm growing old..

hmm..how about volleyball for my cca?oops.......pretend I never say THAT...see no evil...u'll know..Fadil is cheeky and scares the girls in class...he speaks like a paedophile...hahaha..

our school's jamming and band room is full of outdated equipments..that sucks..

people are beginning to like INDIE

foolrocker
signing out

mental note:go to BV during lunch tomorrow,prepare for tuesday..

better get some guitar lessons for myself to improve my skills and make me a talented person in school...hahha..wat shit i'm talking about... anyways,i'm saving up for an electric so hope it comes true...

school is ok and im looking forward to it..anyway,here's the song cancer

Turn away
if u couldn't get me a drink of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
call my aunt marie
help her gather all my things, and bury me in all my favourite colours
my sisters and my brothers still,I will not kiss you
cause the hardest part of this is living you

Now turn away
cause i'm awful just to see
cause all my hairs abandoned all my body oh my agony...
know that I will never marry
baby i'm just soggy from the chemo
but counting down the days to go

it just ain't living
and i just hope u know

and if you say (if you say)
good bye today (goodbye today)
I asked to be true( cos I'd asked you to be true)

cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

foolrocker
signing out

One week of silence..A signal for me to forget her...Yea..So i guess dat's it then..guess she wants us to be over coz she dun wanna be hurt..I hurt her once..it was when i came back from camp..n i told her i cant remember her in my heart..dunno why..juz dat,my feelings for her disappeared for awhile..but,i told her..my feelings are back..i want her there for me..Now i guess all those months trying not to make my dreams come true,finally came true..She's fading..with silence..

But if u were to ask me..she's the sweetest of all..sigh..forget about it..maybe she has been imagining i'll hurt her soon..or maybe..her new schoolmates are the ones dat replaced me..nvm..i'm tired of this..it's making me sick..

Haz
Mayb..my new fren was right..
He said..'dont TRY to be close to someone who has too many people to talk to..
Coz the effort u juz put in means nothing to dat someone..
N dat someone will find his/her close frens as time passes by..
Could it be u throughout those many frens she always talk to?
When he/she needs someone to talk to,u do know he/she wont come to someone like u..
Sad but true..
Peace..And very sorry coz i didnt do a long compo.. =)

hey..friday turned out quite ok...I volunteered with some of my classmates to the stage to accompany the two singers of my class..we got over and done with it..was relieved when its finally over..man

HB won again..three times in a row..luckily they shared their presents with us..since we are from the same course..

soon after that I went to my classmate house called danial in bedok to practice our assembly..we will be singing/playing the song called 'cancer'..was diffucult at first as I do have terrible singing..but got used to it and now its ok

I dun know if I have a good voice but they say it was nice so here goes nothing..assembly is on tuesday..

well,my class is already divided into 2 groups..the good guys and the bad guys..the good guys are mainly the innocent ones while the bad ones are those who smoke...I mean,they dun mix around with the innocent people..there are some smokers who mix with us..thats cool

as for me,I stay neutral as I dun like making enemies our choose sides as I've already been in both sides previously..I was a bad guy and a good guy way back...so I'm staying neutral..they still mingle with me so maybe that's the reason im neutral..

well,this is a little about my class..and no,there are no paikiahs so no worries!

having fun in ite..but still miss secondary life,my class mates dun speak singlish!! I miss singlish

today I met N at je interchange since he starts at 8...saw her..what a coincidence..anyways,we were stucked in a jam for 30 mins..were stucked at clementi..

N was late because of it..so,better planning nxt time N..sorry..well..was happy I saw her..

had team building today..before that our class was tinkering for our talent contest for friday..I would have agreed to a band perfomance but there was time constraint so had to cancel on it..my class is going to screw up our talent contest tomorrow..

well,new classmates came..guess what? nishanthy is in the same course and class..was surprised to see her..rin and fiqah was like daamn happy to see her

anyways,team building was funn..my new classmates are very friendly..and beautiful...hahaha...no worries,they don't appeal to me...hahaha

tired and sleepy..

the girls sometimes get kinky..

heck we are grown ups..

so try not to throw up..

foolrocker
signing out

started the first day of school...it wasn't as bad as I expected..the people all seem matured..all doing their own stuffs...that's cool..

met rin and fiqah at clementi...at least there are some company for me rather than being all alone in a total strange scene..

we seperated as we needed to go to our own classes...my course had two classes...my classmates mostly suffer the same fate..the failed maths and science or just maths or anything to do with numbers..

miracalously,all of them have a very strong foundation in english...man,now its challenging as im badly outwitted in terms of language....there's this indonesian girl who took literature and she speak very fluent english...

not only that,she's a fierce debator,man,i gotta brush up my english if I were to understand what she's saying...hahaha..overall,everyone in my class are friendly...

no hooligans,all looking to their own matters...hopefully everything stays this way for the next two years...

recess was boring as I had no appetite..after that,the activities was killing me as it was dead boring...

at the end of the day,met rin and fiqah and followed them to clementi interchange before going to je..I think haz was aboard a 185 bus as he saw us walking...

had a hard time maintaining the stalker...u should know who N...

what a day, a lot of girls in my class
its a buffet...woohoo...
but I'll stick to one...hahahaha...just joking
I rather stay single..and enjoy it...

foolrocker
signing out..

shit..I hate this feeling...its plaguing me since god knows when...

how long must I persevere until the nightmare will end?I need to find myself

where's the me that is cool with anything and not a stereotype?where's the me that is always cool with anywhere I go?

that me is lost

I need to find that me...

foolrocker..
signing out../930

yesterday while I was on my way to je,saw an accident scene...the pizza delivery guy got hit by a van when it was making a turn...I guess the rider was impatient and decided to try his luck

his luck faded and he died...a severe head injury that could leave u in a coma for ages if u don't die..

enough of death already....this death thingy is a norm for me and is making me sick

if i die before I wake,well,at least I'm prepared..

speaking of which,I could have lose my life 3 years ago...I was crossing the road when the traffic light showed red...I didnt know what caused me to do that but when the vehicles honk at me,I was like,what in the hell am I doing???

it happened twice..I wish it wont happen again..

come lay beside me
tell me what they've done
speak the words I wanna hear
to make my demons run

the door is locked now
but its open when u're true

if u could understand the me
then i could understand the you

come on,tell me what u think of the other earlier lyrics

foolrocker
signing out

16 april is approaching..so i decided to get my worn out leather shoes to a cobbler at je...met Hz and N at chinese garden as HZ wanted to get a haircut..nice hair cut btw...no joke..after that went to je to grab a bite...bumped to jonathan who just returned from orientation I presume...and i found out a little about her from jonathan..how dumb sia she..but I wont call her dumb..we decided to wait for time to fly by hanging out at the arcade as the cobbler opens at 6.

guess what? a familiar figure playing a piano like game was spotted in the arcade...its none other than Xin Mao...hahahaha....that poor guy...playing the same game over and over again...

so at 630,went to the cobbler to send my shoes...cost 15 bucks...after that,went home as something urgent came up..

sorry zal,cant make it for class today...

but this time,im in the mood to study...seriously...hahaha...

foolrocker
signing out..

today i want to stop and think about the less unfortunate..this is what will happen when i become very perspective of my surroundings..

at this moment,im at je library with N trying to experiment the usage of the wireless system.well,here i am on the net surfing...it was frustating in the beginning...had to subscribe and all...but its free at least..

ok have to go now before there is any connection problems
i know im boring

foolrocker
signing out

This life of mine is really messed up...i dun seem to be able to follow through on what i've plan for myself..im just a dirt bag on this world..why?is it because i tend to keep quiet and not tell other people my needs,my desires,my wants?or is it simply because I like to give in to ppl a lot,losing what I want in return for the help I offered to them...

I need to prioritise myself..live my life and not be too helpful..im kind but only half of the people in the world really needs the kind gratitude..while the others smirk in the dark after taking advantage of the help they receive..

to live the life is to live ur dreams..should friends be sacrificed for this cause?I dont think so...friends help to live ur dreams..

the probability is there,but urself is the end of the equation to guarantee a success as determination and effort is something only u can produce..

the goal is there for all of us,but the paths we take is what makes life very interesting..and unxplainable..the turns in life represents the turning point to ur own success..

my path is laid,with several shrouds covering it,representing the upcoming future which we never know till the future becomes the present and the present becomes the past..

tsk tsk
I wont stand in ur way
let ur hatred grow
and she'll scream
and she'll shout
and she'll pray
and she had a name
yeah she had a name

and i wont hold u back
let ur anger rise
and we'll fly
and we'll fall
and we'll burn
no one will recall
no one will recall

this is the last time i'll abandon you
and this is the last time i'll forget you

pretty long,foolrocker
signing out..peace

friday night...went to the Attic at Far East with my indie bro to shop for the 70s outfit..he has a good sense of fashion so its a good idea to bring him along..then went to topman to get myself a tank top..saw a lot of white ppl with their cool hair...got ourselves a copy of JUICE at HMV..and went home after that..

unfortunately didnt get to mit up with them as they had their own stuffs to attend to..so thats when i thought of going to town to shop instead..it was a great exposure for me as different outfits were seen,the emo,gothic,indie,japan..this is what will happen if u seldom go town...but nevermind,it wun hurt to be left behind once in awhile...

playing soccer later today..hope im in a good form to assist...i fear of losing contact already...man...guys,please dun lose contact..

im a preservative guy...so its hard for me to move on to the time...i prefer the good old times..

foolrocker
signing out

Juz got back from my MLS camp..Malay Language Society i think..I'm sick right now...n have been sick since the 2nd day of camp..muscle strains n cold..Made alot of malay frens..we talked to each other like we have known each other for long..was way2 cool..But wat i brought home,was guilt n regrets..

To tell u the truth..i ran away at the last hour of the camp..leaving my team helpless...The last hour was to perform a 'skit'..which i hate most..It's juz not me..i dun act n stuff..n i dun like lots of people watching me n i get myself embarassed...On the 1st day,if im not wrong,i already embarassed myself with a short act..They gave me a role..acting as a stewardess n asked me to act the next 2 minutes without giving any dialogue..After 1 minute of acting,i got jammed with no word to say n juz showed a helpless face to the audiences..Dat was where my foebia started..Cheering,im weak at dat too..It's juz not me..but since i have to louden my team's cheering,coz only me n a fren of mine was the only guys in the team,i juz have to join the cheer..

Some activities were fun..like..nightwalking alone..in a really2 dark campus..with only a small little lightstick on ur hand...n some pontianak dolls at some places..Some sporty games..some fear factor games..drinking a mixture of coffee,kicap,plain water n chin calok (not sure of the spelling)..the chin calok caused me to vomit out the drink..coz it smelled like someone's vomit..n i was drinking it..hah..no shit...The sporty games was cool..like..way better than games held in secondary school during PE lessons..

Frens were all fun..we disturbed girls too..guys tried exchanging numbers with girls..but erm..some got rejected..sadly..lucky i didnt asked for any..But one of the girls,really2 looked like an actress from Malaysia..The actress' name sounded like 'Nor Danish'..Erm..She was the one in Gila Gila Pengantin Popular..Saiful Apek's fren..the one who drives the car..Yea..We all got so tempted to ask for her number..haha..

However,real actors were in my bunk too..Hafiz from Police n Thief,K14 and Zurin from K14 n another guy..Fahmi..not sure he acted in where..but i think he is a singer..Me n 5 of my new frens didnt mix with them much coz those 2 actors are smokers..They mix with the 2nd year smokers instead..Coz of wanting to share ciggies dat is*

Erm..Our schedule was way2 tight..which was way2 tiring..coz we gotta solat jemaah(pray altogether)..n solat on time..so after having lunch,off we go for our prayers..after a small activity,off we go for our prayers..after a short relaxing time,off we go for our prayers..Damn tight,isnt it?..i got myself muscle strains all over..But,after thinking about all dat,the camp was actually fun..The only thing dat wasnt fun to me was the 'skit'..

I hate it so much...I hate it so much dat an hour before the 'skit' starts..i juz said i hav to retrieve my laptop..i was so lost dat time..i juz left..In the end,2nd year students were the one who replaced me n some of my teammate in the group..i'm full of regrets right now..i dunno how to face them if i ever gonna meet them when school starts...I was thinking of buying them Macdonald's extra value meal for them..juz a way of saying sorry..Still,i dunno if they could forgive me..sigh..

Haz
Still sick n my mind's filled
Peace

hey..had a hard time trying to post as my brother is not working anymore at the moment..wish he would go NS now so I have the laptop all to myself...hahaha...so in the next few weeks,my post will be one day late unless i get to use it at night..

so,one more day to good friday and man,its literally good..its my day off and I can meet and talk to them tmr...haha..im looking forward to it guys..cause the flow is in...yeah!

my body is always beaten..even though when im hungry,I dun feel it much..i keep going and going like a steamroller...well,the stuff I learnt during F&N is useful for my future use concerning my diet..my stomache gets bloated frequently these days..maybe theres too much carbo..

at the same time,im aiming to earn some fats..funny isnt it? some ppl want to be that,some ppl dont,but I do still like the way i am..u may be hurt when ppl criticise u,but it takes real good guts to comeback and still feel good about urself and not depress about it..

I love walking alone in the middle of the night..its unlike during the day..u can walk the streets as there are very few cars on the road..u can even hear ur own footsteps as it reverberates between the surrounding..sigh..it really put u in a peace of mind..or what ever they call it...but be careful of beings lurking around..they might be trying to get u...

4/4..happy birhday RIN!
5/4..happy belated bithday RIN!

pretty long post,hope u like it..lets sing a song

hate
im ur hate
im ur hate when u want love

pay
pay the price
pay for nothing's fair

hey
im ur life
im the one who took u there

hey
im ur life
and i no longer cares..

foolrocker
signing out/1ooo

I dont know if I should flush my emotions out or simply keep it and act as if nothing happened..hmm..Its been a great year of friendship guys...those that ive known since sec 1..its a miracle that we are still great friends..I appreciate those years..those who are in my current ring of great friends..appreciate u all too...the jokes,the company and the camaradie we had is something invaluable..

all of us will be going our own seperate ways soon..guess whats my greatest wish? wish time would stop and all of us live in eternity..but nature will take it course and we'll grow old..

ok,enough of emotions,let me end it on a lighter note...haha..man..frankly I dun know.. cheer up fool...

Friends Forever guys..(shut up fool..dun let the world know how u feel..)

foolrocker
signing out..(sniff..)..(stop acting like a sissy fool)

ok,i'll make this short..give me your views...what do girls think in their mind when they are talking to guys?

just wondering..

there is a lot of things that we havent discover yet even at this age..trust me..\

foolrocker

signing out