2009. ive decided to make records of my life here.

and i think ive grown really matured over the years.
yeah sure im still joking around and stuff...but, 2009 really is an impact since the last 2 years.
Here is what happened in 2009:

ended attachment and graduated from ite.
tried to apply poly but failed.
enlisted to NS instead.
now in SPF. NPCO. cool.
while doing time in NS, hani got injured for a month.
when she came back, she said something of being mine.
but things happened and she chose someone else. heartbroken 1 time.
so during fasting month, i get to know this girl. Farhanah. a sweet small girl.
we got close and there was chemistry. we dated for 3 weeks before we officialised on 23 october.
she means alot to me. only i noe y.
on 5 dec, something happened, her dad told her that an agreement has been made abt her engagement. heartbroken 2 times.
took me 3 weeks to really let go of her. but now, i still love her, but like i said, ive grown and decided to move on so as not to get hurt.
hani broke up wif fat fuck and feels sorry for what she did to me 3 months ago. tried to make up for all the pain i suffered.
this time its payback time. im no longer head over heels at her. she is still trying to fall in love with me. aku da tak heran ah. and the fling with lily is happening again..we french kissed at hort park on 14 dec. her relationship is in the rocks. again, she got angry but this time, she likes my kisses. girls girls...tsk tsk..so she's like accompanying me since my break up.

so u see, 2009 is really a shit year for me. i noe i was so optimistic and naive for the last 2 years, but this time i decided to think abt myself.

still in contact with hani. but im planning to stay at this way.
next year i'll be graduating from the academy, so i reckon more stories to come.
im aiming for a class 2b next year.
i want and WILL stay single until i am stable. this heartbreak is too much. girls are such a pain in the ass. and i dun want any serious relationship with them until im stable.
im not gonna let myself fall for any girls this time. sure i feel the misses.. but i have to remind myself how painful a heartbreak is. its better to be lonely than heartbroken.

there, my resolution for my life. expecting 2010 to be another roller coaster..but ive decided to be abit darker. dun expect me to smile.

Cant blame anyone for not remembering it..
i wish i was born a day later..
a second chance to get just one wish from anyone..i dun care who..just make me smile for a day....

been 3 weeks and alot of tings have happened.

how wud u feel if u hear good news and in less than a week, bad news comes up?

i feel devastated and confused.

i was that close to having her. now some guy is tackling her and bcos he made an impact, she practically duno wat to say abt wat she told me.

she said she wanted me, but after the guy came to the picture, she took back wat she said.

im like, wtf and things went awry.

so basically, things are really uncertain now. and the feeling of uncertainty is not happy.

cause u duno whats gonna happen in the near future.

i juz dun understand why god make it so complicated. when it was just abt to get smooth sailing.

last week was fun cause we had revolver training and guess what? i got marksmanship..49 out of 50 rounds..well i was letting my anger out during the shooting..maybe tats why i become so good suddenly...

past week things have been pretty tough and i even thought of using the revolver training to shoot myself...but upon hearing the sound of the revolver after every shot, i realised tat im not that desperate to end my life yet.

so ytd i met hani one last time b4 we take a break from each other. it was fun bt i know the real story so no matter how fun it was or how well we get along with each other, deep inside the story is diff. tats why its best we take a break for the time being.

yesterday i had my first shisha! a time to rmb...at al majlis

NS been pretty mixed with emotions...fun sad alll those stuffs u noe..

well life's been pretty much the same...except for the fact that i spend five days at my new home...im pretty much getting used to it...but it just sucks because the instructors are on a lookout to spot our mistakes so we really cant do watever we like..

so yeah...gotta train myself for ippt tis week...its gonna be busy and the only time i look forward to is light's out...

til here.

had a nite out at town last nite and just woke up 4 hrs ago...packed my stuffs for tues

well this is it huh. lets just get it over with.

3 months of camping..

let this post be a point for me to look back at.

is it true? that norhafirah has passed away in an accident?

i feel freaky...cuz i saw her for the first time since we left sec sch last wednesday on the 20th may at bugis topman outlet...i said hi to her..and now i find out that she passed away...i feel freaky....

was the day that i saw her a sign?